A life without hopes.

I have butterflies in my stomach, I am feeling nervous and super sick. I am fearing the worst, the worst of all, where all the great and high expectations of my dearest dream, being smashed, crashed, crushed,  shattered - at that point I will be utterly mindless, as much as speechless as I am muted. I do not think that I will be having enough strength to overcome all of these messes. Just by thinking of it, all over the time - it was like some sort of a death sentence to me, you know that I could not, cannot accept losses, failures, and so on.

I think by sparkling up my bitter and nervous heart by a glimmer of hopes, it will be alright, yet no one knows, right? It's terrifying to change your life that it won't be the same anymore, but you know what's more dreadful? Regrets. I don't want to live all the rest of my life with regrets and in remorse. It will be making me feeling bad to live this life all the time, and that's why I had said earlier that it was kinda a death sentence for me.

Yeah. Too much complications, it's given me a lot of headaches, and worse still, death wishes.

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