I don't know what should I do.
I don't have any clue on what to do.
I keep browsing, scrolling social websites through my iPhone.
Checking out Instagram,
Stalking my 'friends' on Facebook,
Reading 'hotstuffs' tweets on Twitter.
Oh no, I don't know what I am doing.
I do not have any idea what am I doing right now. There is a sudden urge, enthusiasm to write this entry, maybe Allah had moved me to write this entry. I do not know what I had rambled just now, I was so sure that I was going to make a poem, a poem about nonsensical things. Have you ever felt the feeling where you felt this world has been being unfair to you? Abruptly, you felt that you're lucky, you're just one of the luckiest person in this world.
Sometimes, I talk about unrelated things. I just do not know why. I just love to write, to type through keyboards, and share what's on my mind right now. I wish to inspire people, I hope that I could move people to the light rather than the darkness, I am not good person myself, I talk shits, sometimes I am clueless with what I am talking about. I never think about others, I am a selfish person. I am an introvert.
Today's topic.
Today's headline.
Annysse Sophiellea is an introvert. OR
Nur Fatin Amira Mohd Nor is an anti-social person.
I could not fathom with myself of why I could not be closed to people. I tried to make people to be closed with me, I tried to make friends with everyone yet sometimes I could not. I attempted to fit myself in the crowds, but I could not. What's wrong with me? I always avoiding people. I always wanting to be alone, in forlorn in this world. I don't know why. When I am alone, I do not feel sad, yet I feel happy, because there's no one that I am worrying about except for myself. I'm an adventurous person but a timid girl. I may look strong but inside I am fragile and frail. I could be shattered into pieces easily. I could not see any progression in myself, if there is changes.. It may be so tiny and minor that I could not sense the presence of the terms 'turning over into a new leaf' inside of me. I love to jeopardise myself, I love myself to be in danger, that's why I love to be alone. It's not like that I am arrogant. People always misunderstood me. Because they do not know who am I really is.
Deceptions.
People love to judge someone by their looks, you know it by yourself and I, myself could not defy nor deny it as it is the truth of what's happening on our society today. Sometimes, I could not trust myself, but I often give all of my faith to people. That is the thing that is destructing me day by day. I could not help myself not to trust anyone any more nonetheless eventually I will end up as a victim who gives 100% of trust then being used and so on. Maybe I am collecting hatred and vengeance towards people that I could not socialize with them any more, yeah perhaps. It is one of my numerous theories which are playing on my mind that I loathe people so much. I dislike their selfishness despite that I seem to be pompous and self-centre, me personally.
Now, I get it. It is not I am the one who is damaged, but everyone's damaged too. We never realize that we are destroying our kind. I fear the future what will it be like, would it be as beautiful as we imagined or it will turn horrid and terrifying that we wish that we are not born into this world.
And verily,
We, humans can only plan, but Allah decides everything on what will happen to us.
----This entry was supposed to be dated 26/5/2013 but since I had finished it past the midnight so it was dated 27/5
27.5.2013
My father's and little sister's birthday.
Happy birthday Abah! I love you so much, may Allah will always grant you His providence!
Happy 45th anniversary!
And happy 11th anniversary to my devilish *jokes annoying and irritating sister, Ain!!!!! Little 'bitch', I love you so much!!!!!!!!! Nanti kakak bagi hadiah.
----This entry was supposed to be dated 26/5/2013 but since I had finished it past the midnight so it was dated 27/5
27.5.2013
My father's and little sister's birthday.
Happy birthday Abah! I love you so much, may Allah will always grant you His providence!
Happy 45th anniversary!
And happy 11th anniversary to my devilish *jokes annoying and irritating sister, Ain!!!!! Little 'bitch', I love you so much!!!!!!!!! Nanti kakak bagi hadiah.
