Feeling so----, uh, I don't know. I'm just not in the right mood today and I don't know why. Maybe, because I'm a little bit disappointed about my friends. Yeah, perhaps. It is just the possibilities of the cause. Urrggh, I just don't know what should I write here? I am confused, baffled. I couldn't explained my feeling exactly.
'Story Only I didn't know' by IU may the best song that describe my feeling well.
I felt betrayed, hurt, and once again maybe. It is just my feeling, I didn't felt so---- right. I AM BORED. I'm feeling bored. I felt emptiness in my heart, but I didn't know what caused it. Do you know why I wrote all of these in past tense, because I'd already felt it before, ignoring all the grammar, I just want to express my feeling. I couldn't write anything about feelings in Malay and I spoke in ENGLISH a lot if I was hurt, then. No one understand me, no one ever understand me. Please, try to understand me. I'm suffering, perhaps?
Perhaps and maybe. Perhaps and maybe? All of these are not a tale, not a folk. It is just REALITY. There are many things that I couldn't described through words nor actions. For example, the way I feel now. maybe, from today, I might talk about my perception and feelings. I felt bad, very bad. This is the worst.
You know, I was being crazy at school, then. Why? I want to attract HIS attention towards me, seems like he was ignoring me, I tried and tried to forget him, I couldn't. Maybe, because I still like him a lot just like, how I felt towards HIM last year. I didn't know if he really meant last year, if he liked me. It WAS last year. But, this year, we are just strangers? Like we'd never met before. Funny right? I always thought all of these only happens in dramas, movies and books. But, it happened on me.
I'm stressed right now. I want to talk, to HIM. But, I ain't got any guts, like before. I'm not too strong to face him. Okay, the problem is, I LIKED a boy. And it was just so------- complicated! The story continues...
ASSALAMUALAIKUM!
Fuhh, at last....... I couldn't bear it anymore... So--- that's why I write all about these things. Kinda lame and pathetic? Isn't it?
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