According to Facebook, I am already an adult.
Anyone can message me, almost everyone can tag me in their posts or photos, et cetera. Well, all of those things do not really signify a single thing to me. I had my birth date concealed from everyone but me in Facebook, and in the first time since almost 6 years ago (tI had made my account in 2009), NOBODY had wished me 'Happy Birthday'. My mom did wish me 'Happy Birthday' but not that really direct, she had just remarked that I was already eighteen, an adult. My other family? Nah. Nonetheless, I do not really care even though my tears are streaming like a waterfall the moment I am writing this sentence. A lesson learned - every single persons I had known in my latest school were junks and craps. They did not, and do not really give a crap about me. The thing that shocked me the most was, the people whom I had supposed to leave them behind were the ones who were really all out wishing my birthday. Oh, how ironic. Even the person whom I regarded as my closest friend did not even called or the least she could have WhatsApp'ed me, yet she did not. I think that my life is quite sad, I had never really receive any birthday presents sincerely from anyone except my family. Yeah, my family is quite lacking in terms of accommodating love towards each other but do not fear my friends, I do not really mind.
I kept telling myself for not writing negative things, not to give in to all those pessimistic inklings, I guess, the longest that I could stand was a month, I guess? I hate myself for blaming myself, I hate myself for blaming others. Maybe, one day, if I am going to do some really crazy things, rest assure. do not panic or something. I am a volcano, waiting to erupt. Hoping the ashes will not extirpate anyone. Just brace yourselves, humans.
So, back to our conundrum.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE AN 'ADULT', according to my age right now?
I FEEL LIKE L O L.
Is this a kind of a really sick joke from world to me?
Okay, I will accept this challenge.
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE WORLD TO END.
L O L.
Perhaps, I do not really want the world to end.
I FEEL RETARDED.
The world in my opinion is fair and square but we, humans are the ones who are making it not so fair and square.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING AN ADULT.
I feel the very same way that I was feeling when I was a kid. Or, maybe not.
I AM REALLY SICK WITH ALL GROWN UPS.
WELL, FELLOWS.. I am already 18 years and 2 days old. So..
I AM TOO LAZY TO MAKE LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE SENTENCES.
I have always been feeling 'I do not know", "I cannot explain', why I am like this.
IT IS GOOD THAT I AM GOOD IN ACTING.
Another folly remark.
I am a hypocrite and sadistic person. I bear no sympathy towards people or animal. My affections towards my loved ones are sporadic. I am tired to hide this ugly truth, yes, I love violence. I hate peace. I want more rebellions. I want to be evil. I admire all those villains. I hate heroes so much. I wish that I am not a person whom I am right now. I have different personalities to handle different people. I want to kill. I am immoral. I am deranged. I am lazy. I am a rebel. I am crazy. I think I am mentally sick. I am afraid to ask for help. I am to cocky to tell all about my real feelings. I am a psycho. I want to run away from people. I want to live in the wilderness. I want to die alone without anyone to help me. I do not really care to be frowned upon although I do care. I want help but I am scared to ask for help. I do not believe and trust anyone.
I guess, I am going to post more cheery posts after this - in a new blog perhaps.
I am still glad that I still look normal to everyone, yet. Or.. Maybe not?